Feeling Sad?

Feeling Sad?

Maybe you've visited this site and find yourself reading this because you've been feeling depressed lately. You feel sad, scared and alone and you've no idea where to turn. It doesn't truly matter how you came to find yourself in this position. Maybe you've been sad and filled with anxiety on and off for most of your life. Maybe, on the other hand, you recently lost someone near and dear to you through death, through disease, alcoholism or drugs, through a change in career, through a move, a relationship break-up, a divorce, or even a terrible argument and misunderstanding that is repetitive and caused a fissure in your relationship. It doesn't matter where your sorrow began so much as the fact that at the bottom of any one of these scenarios a great sadness and a feeling of desperation reside: one of abandonment, guilt, fear, betrayal, and all of the questions that surround these issues. The thoughts run repetitively through your head, maybe through your dreams, and your body as a result has physical reactions that are complicating the issues. You have thoughts of “Why?”, “Why Me?”, “Why now?”, “How did it come to this?”, and “If only I had/she had/he had...”

Sometimes we can eventually solve some of these mysteries on our own. Sometimes enough time passes so that much of the sorrow is dulled, the questions becoming less important. There are instances when certain life-changes and challenges distract us so much that we don't feel the pain quite so sharply. Some people have good support around them such as family members who know how to listen without necessarily offering advice, or strong friendships that can bear the weight of our sorrow and feelings of desperation. These human bonds can help us to heal, slowly. Sometimes finding a new kind of love can replace the feelings of solitude and isolation. But many of us have no where to turn, no safe place where we feel we can hash and rehash the issues without driving others away. Sometimes we need a new perspective because we've used up all our resources, or we're disatified with the answers because our situation, our confusion and loneliness still hasn't changed or at the very least not enough.

If you feel that the solutions you have reached by yourself or through others are not enough, or you feel at this point that your confidence is so shattered that you can barely reach out, or you still need an objective opinion because it feels as if you are not being heard nor understood entirely, then you might consider looking into finding an experienced therapist. This is especially true if you feel that your confidence is at an all-time low, or your depression is more deeply seated and in all probability embedded in deeper issues, childhood issues, or a series of previous losses and scars that have now once again been re-opened. Maybe your sadness and feelings of panic were never resolved at any time in your life, but somehow you've been managing on a superficial level. At a time when the answers lie so deep within us that we can't find a way to reach them, one burst of courage is required – to reach out beyond our usual array of solutions and ask for help, professional help.

Why is courage mentioned here, especially at a time when you are apt to feel the least courageous? Going into treatment is a brave approach to healing deep psychological wounds. It can prevent further unwanted recurrences of the same. It could help prevent you from jumping to rash decision-making at a time when you might not be feeling well enough to think clearly. Going into treatment might mean that not only will you find relief from suffering but that even just as important sometimes, it can prevent those people around you who need and love you from suffering as well, as you learn about yourself, learn new communication skills and learn how to achieve real happiness.

And if you've been in treatment before and feel it didn't serve you well, realize that sometimes the timing was simply not right, or the therapist-client match was not optimal, and that it's very essential to find someone who appears to understand what you are saying within the first or second session, and with whom you feel basically at ease. Picking a therapist who's right for you is a huge decision. If you're not happy or can't see little bits of progress each time you attend a session, it may be better for you to move on and find someone else. It's one of the most important decisions you'll ever make in a lifetime.

So even if you feel scared right now, or feel that you're supposed to fix everything yourself because that's something you were taught somewhere along the way, follow your heart and reach out to someone who can help you. It feels a lot better than being alone, feeling abandoned, feeling misunderstood, and feeling so deeply sad that you think others probably won't even miss you if you happen to disappear. Why not go ahead and give it another chance? Knowledge is power and so is self-love.

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